Shameless change...

A screwed up score of 55%, a dark future still am smiling and enjoying each moment of my work and each moment of my life… It is so damn satisfying that I cannot even express… Marks and fat salary are so damn conventional! I think I am getting used to the concept of live in the present and deal with the future later…Enjoy the present…Don’t let the future worries spoil your wonderful and happy present life…! Also, don’t live in your past!

Life without tension can be so damn fun that I cannot even tell you… I don’t know if this change is welcome change or not but it makes me feel so different and so fresh everyday…

A decision which I have taken is that I would stick to the corporate world and I am not interested in academics any more… Have been into too much of it for the last 16 years so I think its time for something different and something new…

Marks cannot determine your life and it’s important that one should realize that… Career should be of utmost important but one should not mix their personal life and professional life… Career aspirations on one hand and personal aspirations on the other… Time management is important so that you do the right thing at the right time! I hope the smart ones have understood what I am trying to say…

I don’t want to get back to Delhi; I just hate that place…
Another thing, slow and romantic songs don’t make me sad anymore… It takes me to the dreamland where I can weave many beautiful dreams…Wish they come true!

Update....?

Wish if things will continue to work out smoothly at my end… Life without tension, anxiety and worries, who doesn’t look forward to such an life? The last two days were not comforting for me… My PG owner is closing down his PG business and so that means I have to search for a fresh accommodation once I get back to HELL– a major pain in the ass. But yes, the good thing is that this time I might get to choose an accommodation of my type – the type I had always wanted… But I shudder to go back and stay alone… I am scared at the thought of staying all alone with no one to talk and chat also… But I guess something good will come out of it this way or that way, so lets see what happens…

I will have to give a PPT next week – my first PPT and I am looking forward to it. It might not be all that creative and astounding, but as a fresher I will make an honest attempt to cover up the designing pitfalls with the content…

Have become a complete movie and pizza buff and can actually criticize some of the movies which I see these days…. Metro was a really good experience which reflects some of the complications of a modern life style, mid life crisis, extra marital affair, urge to earn money etc etc..… It actually shows some of my fears and anxiety that I might have to go through in future… But yes, on the whole a good movie which goes on to prove that not everyone in life is successful… Again being successful or not is a relative concept…

Ek Challis Ki Last Local – my biggest mistake to see that movie! So I better not waste the reader’s energy…

I think that’s it for the time being… More to come….Keep watching!

Be the change... Feel the difference...

Each moment brings to you an opportunity to realize your faults or stupidities and to do something new...

Sea brings to me immense pleasure and it brings back a lot of old and beautiful memories… Memories which I had buried long back and never wanted to remember flashes back, but surprisingly it doesn’t hurt me or affect me… It rather brings back a smile on my face… At times I am surprised to see the change, because these used to be the source of depression in my life and it doesn’t affect me adversely anymore! I smile when I remember them…

I have been lecturing people a lot these days as to how they should look at life and especially as to why its important to have a dynamic view of life. My aim is not to change their way or life or thinking, it is just an attempt to bring some happiness and excitement in their life… I don’t know if I’ll be misunderstood by any of them… I know this is not done and should not be a part of me, but a change is a gradual process…. I have started changing and complete change will take sometime….

Discos – they have been my off-late interest and I do want to check them out and I will. My parents will be a bit “aaaahhhhh” with the idea, but I guess everything should be tried once in life… I consider it as an experience and the more experience you have the better it is for you…The more matured you are and the more progressive you are…. Each moment is a learning experience and each moment brings to you so much to experience that you don’t want to waste your time on stupid mundane things in life….To meet new people, to implement new ideas, to think differently….and so on and so forth…The more new things and new ideas you are exposed to the wider will be your thought process…

What else…more to write… But…LATER!

Realizations...Experiences...News...

Speed boating, water skiing….could I ever think of these a year back? Looks and might sound scary but the adrenaline burst after the boating / skiing is just too intense… Your heart throbs and your hands become cold when you get on to that, but once you set sail, it’s just too much fun… Adventure is mostly fun… Will be (water) skiing next week and I hope that it is just another amazing experience to make you smile for a really long time, that feeling of satisfaction and that feeling of happiness can be had from these little adventures and happiness does not always come from big achievements…

To some people, satisfaction comes from enjoying someone else’s company, but to me satisfaction comes from small things in life which I have never done before, can come from something big also, but haven’t come across that big thing yet..!

It’s important that we keep alive the child in us so that our life is not dull and mundane… It’s important that we realize that there is a positive side of every negative thing happening and once we look at that positive side of the negative incident, life becomes more enjoyable and more fun filled and you become a more matured person and complete and you will get over with any negative down turn quickly, trust me it works!

That life is not just only a means of earning money and leading a conventional family life but that it involves a lot many things which one should experience and feel is so damn important for everyone to realize, and I pity those who do not realize this and make themselves a money making machine…. Why do we do something which everyone does, why not we try doing something that’s totally different and new, something which we never thought off before (refer to blog-entry about inhibitions)…. Enjoy each moment and see the beauty of it and feel the difference… Every moment brings to you an opportunity and it is upto us to make full use of it and achieve the most of it…

Now let me tell you all something other than my realizations (and philosophy), that is, I will now blabber about my work and how ‘bad’ is my mentor… Well, my guide is not actually bad at all. He is a lovely person who makes it a point that I actually understand each bit of everything that he assigns me and makes sure that I do all my desk work properly. So there is no scope I can fool him, and why should I, if I do it, it’ll be my loss. I am getting paid to learn something, so why not make most out of it… Its just that I sometimes feel irritated with the work load, but then again, this is NOTHING compared to what future has in store for me. So I should take a cue from this as to what my future can be like…

My office is damn cool and is definitely equipped with all the modern amenities one could think of. The food, as I was told, is not so marvelous, but yes, I am definitely getting to eat better food than what I get to eat in Delhi…

People here in Mumbai are very helpful and almost everyone will help you with the bus routes and train routes… Not only that they’ll make sure to remind you to get down at the right station when the station arrives they will also end up chatting with you, so much so that you will want them to keep shut after a point of time, can we think of this helpful attitude in Delhi? There people will probably send you in the opposite direction or will be very rude with you… There is a way of saying “I don’t know”, which Mumbai people will tell you sweetly but Delhi people won’t… Surely, Delhi is still a bad place to live and I would never ever want to settle there….

Love the sea, love the sound of the waves hitting the land and love the cool breeze…. After a long time I did had a meeting with the sea and didn’t want the meeting to be so short lived… Guess there will be another one in the near future and hope that it’ll be a real long one…!

Finally...

Finally I am in Mumbai…. The flight from Calcutta was very pleasant and extremely satisfying especially becasue of the hospitality of Kingfisher Airlines, which added cherry to the cake…Though the end of my short stay in Calcutta was really satisfying and I learnt a lot at the thirteenth hour, the start of my stay at Mumbai was not great simply because Kingfisher ‘lost’ my bag. However, it was not so and it was discovered where the bags were lying in about 90 minutes… So I learnt how to fight with airline officials and to do what when such a situation arises… Good, right? I am getting to face every situation and I kind of learning how to tackle them...Feels so good…

Accommodation is definitely better than my Delhi accommodation and the other flat mates and room mates are also accommodating. People in Mumbai are far better than those in Delhi and much more helpful. Auto drivers are also good and they don’t take you for a ride.... Weather is like Calcutta with pleasant evenings…Mumbai is a good place and I am loving(!) it. Could I ever think of going out at 2’o’clock in the night for a walk and for a drink in Calcutta; never! But I just went for it carefree without second thoughts, and it was nice to see how life works at night… There were loads of taxis and buses were plying and there were some food joints which were bustling with customers… And the weather then was just too good…! I haven’t checked out the night life of Mumbai, but I will very soon and will let you all know about it!

My joining has been postponed by a day and so I will get to see my swanky office tomorrow… So more about it tomorrow!

Since it was an off day for me, I went to my cousin’s place and I just loved the place… Wonderful design, good locality and amazing view…! Have decided one thing…no matter what, wherever I get posted in future, I will take up a good flat and stay… If you have a good place to stay you can do a lot of stuff… My own place to stay, my very own place to stay…

Mumbai trip till now has been satisfying and I have over come feelings like home sickness and all and it’s a good sign… And I also think I have started looking at the positive side of the bad things, what say?

Inhitions and promises...

Many of us enjoy seeing something taking place in front of our eyes and wonder wish if we could do something similar… Mostly we stop ourselves from doing that because of the age old inhibitions that is there inside us or which has been cultivated by us… Why can’t we do what we just want to do and be happy in life? Why can’t we just give away all out inhibitions and do which our heart wants us to do? Why do we always hold ourselves back? I am no exception, at least till sometime back I used to be what the others were like… Take for example the movie Honeymoon travels… The Bengali wife wanted to fly the parachute kind of thing and she did just that not caring about what others might think, though initially hesitant to go on the ride with the sari, her friend helped her to make her feel happy! Sometimes some words can do wonder… And when she came down, she was so happy and so satisfied that she didn’t even care that she was not wearing the right clothes… What I am trying to say is why we can’t do what we want to… Why can’t people who know that we would love to do something but just holding ourselves back give us that encouragement and spirit so that we do what we want to and thereby become smarter and confident? Also I wonder how genuine are the claims like, I am not scared of anything, do whatever you want to, I don’t care etc. etc. statements? Those who make those comments, are they not really scared about anything in life? The Mountain Dew advertisement tried to portray this idea very nicely and I kind of liked it and think it’s very true that everyone fears something or the other and we fear to do or perform the new things, the challenging task before us…Though our heart says ‘go go go…’ something just stops us… It may be the unknown fear which gropes us or inhibition about what others might think; mostly it’s the former if it’s something challenging or new… If we can give up that fear and try doing that new challenging thing, I am sure it’ll give all us immense happiness even if we do not succeed to perform the task…

The thing which I am trying to convey is to do what you want to… Don’t care what the society will think… Let them go to hell… But don’t do something out of the way too…!

And yes, have realized that promises are meant to be broken! Before I came to Delhi, some people promised to spend a lot of time with me, but then they were the ones who were very busy to attend the phone call even… Happens… :)

Complexities....

What defines me? This is something which has been going on in my mind, doesn’t carry much of meaning, but yeah I am trying to find an answer…

A quiet day spent thinking and the more I thought the more questions I had and I found the answers to most of them J… The other’s I am still looking for!

I abused the person who discovered the concept of suspicion, the concept of jealousy -- because it turns some of the best relations bitter, sour, acetic, salty etc etc... So much so that people stop talking, even stop seeing each others face and sometimes even turn their back! Have we ever thought of how much of space suspicion occupies in our heart / mind? What are the implications of occupying so much memory?

I know the consequences, because I have been the victim of suspicion both ways – have been suspected and have been suspecting. First, you become tremendously in secured about the person about whom you are suspicious. You have this suppressed anger, a billion questions to ask the person and with each passing moment the number of question increases, you are always irritated and that sweet smile which used to be there on your face is lost somewhere and you have a frown which is not at all appreciable… Negativity sets in and there is an urge to do something nasty (at times)… Now why do we suspect, well I have suspected because I was too hesitant to ask question thinking about what the other person might think and what could be the possible consequence of asking that question. Come on friends, let’s understand this simple thing that there is no harm asking questions and clarifying all the doubts that you might have... It prevents bitterness to creep in, it stops misunderstandings to set it (yes, suspicion is a major cause of misunderstandings) and so on and so forth... Those who are questioned, they feel that they are being suspected, but understand the insecurity / reason behind asking that question. Why can’t we make an attempt to help the other person get rid of this suspicion so that we all can live happily? We just need to talk to each other; we need to spend time with each other… Are we so busy that we cannot even spend some time with our loved ones? Well, spending less time is definitely not the only reason for suspicion… And yes, there can be instances where one suspects the other without any rhyme or reason, I really don’t know how to deal with those, but would like to know such a ‘creature’ for a very short span of time…Because in the long run, they can be a major pain!

I have realized that it’s always a good deal to speak your mind and get the answer of all the questions that you might have… I have seen that suspicion arising out of spending less time, the anger; the frustration arising out not getting the adequate attention can be taken care of if we spend some time with the loved one….! Getting your doubts clarified can get you back that beautiful smile, can give you back that mental peace and can make you happy and make you love…

I have realized that no matter how big we become, we need to spend time with someone… But for me, who is this someone? I am yet to hit the bull’s eye…

My eyes are still hunting for that someone…